Let me get this straight...

... the Oscars, worried about ratings, hire the host from the Tony awards. He does a musical song and dance number, complete with "poor theater" sets. They lower the stage for a cabaret-like setting, and put up a glittery blue curtain.

To save the movies, the Oscars tried to be more like... the theater?

Learning from Actors in a Recession

I was thinking about the sinking feeling that hits me in the gut every morning these days, and finally realized what it reminded me of: the everyday life of an actor. See, these days I've actually succumbed to the pleasures of steady income and full time employment, but for what? The threat of layoffs? A dwindling savings account? I had all these pains before, when I was an actor.

See, entertainment may be a recession proof business, but acting is like living ones life in a constant and total recession. Always looking for work. Never sure where the next job is coming from. Moving on and off the unemployment rosters. 

So if you're looking for some perspective, and a way to cope, as your portfolio bottoms out, may I suggest grabbing a beer with an actor. They might even be buying.

Retarded Actor

Today, at a casting session, I was called - to my face - a "retarded actor."

This happened as the result of an argument that arose when I was attempting to point our to the person running the session that they had repeatedly skipped over me to go in the room. He told me that he was waiting to pair me with the "right person" because I would have a better chance booking the job. I told him to let me worry about booking the job. Then he said, "SAG says we have you for an hour anyway." 

Using the SAG maximum alloted time to keep an actor before one has to pay him as an appropriate timeframe for an audition consisting of two guys and one line made me upset. I told him that, quite frankly, I was tired of being treated like a child at casting sessions. He told me he wasn't treating me like a child, but like a "retarded actor." At this point I lost it - screaming match in the waiting area - and walked out. I value my pride more than a regional lotto ad.

A couple of things struck me about the experience. First, was that not one actor in that room got my back. I may have gotten a little too pissed off, sure, but has it really come to the point where we all just accept being treated like cattle? I do my job well - I prepare for auditions, I'm generally respectful. Why is it so much to demand that a casting session run on or near schedule? Where on earth is SAG on this issue? 

I regained my cool - although my girlfriend still thinks I overreacted. Still, if you can't call them as you see them, don't you lose the one thing that makes you an actor? Don't you lose your soul?

Union Infighting

One of the cardinal rules of any green room or film set, is don't talk politics. However, the recent SAG/AFTRA AMPTP debacle is leaving me thinking it might be time to break that rule. 

First off, I'm always going to take the side of the unions against producers. That said, I cannot believe the mismanagement within SAG right now. One of the rules to which I adhere is that the perception of X is as bad as X itself. For example, the perception of United States as torturing prisoners makes it (though not morally) irrelevant as to whether we actually are or not. Everyone thinks we are is what matters. With SAG, the perception of ineptitude and discord within its ranks is managing to undermine any steady ground from which to negotiate. In the end, all actors look bad - we're a bunch of loose cannons, disorganized, who cannot even negotiate together due to infighting. Who's on the right side, SAG or AFTRA? I couldn't care less. The point is, actors lose out. 

There are many issues for the unions to address, and they are falling dangerously behind. New media, sure. But how about figuring out a way to guarantee actor's quotes, earned over time, for work performed. What about leveling higher dues on our most wealthy members to support the crumbling health fund? SAG and AFTRA are losing themselves to age-old politicking while producers laugh and actor's suffer.

The Unions should take a page from the Democrats. Time to find unity, or at least the perception of it.

Today's News

This is one of those posts you can file under "other stuff."

Here's what I learned on my drive home today while listening to NPR.

There's a woman in Sun City, Arizona, who has to drive 90 minutes - each way - to work every day. It costs her $50 to fill up her car. She's taken to buying non-perishable food - such as frozen dinners (chicken nuggets, lasagna) - in place of real groceries. Cheaper, and they won't go bad. On her birthday, she really wanted to go somewhere nice, but because her family was worried about money, so they ended up at Applebee's. 

I also learned that 4 major American oil companies just won no bid contracts to the Iraqi oil fields. There was some mention of "charity" in the story. 

You can buy stock in oil, and family chain restaurants, in this economy. Why should corporate giants have to suffer. W would like that.

Billboard

Spied this Melrose last night. A billboard advertising Headshot Photography. Now, how any headshot photographer has enough money to put up a billboard is beyond me, unless of course he's charging actors a RIDICULOUS sum of money for a headshot session, (and, given the look of the photo in the advertisement, he shouldn't be charging more than $50). Also, when's the last time someone in Hollywood got a black and white headshot taken? The whole thing is so 1987 I'm not sure what to think. Although 90210 is coming back to television, so...

How to Read a Script

One of the things I've learned in my newfound (dare I call it) career as a writer is how to read a screenplay or TV Episode script as an actor. Basically, you have to ignore a lot of it.

See, one of the things that acting schools don't teach you is that writers, writing for any medium outside the theater, are writing to show a reader what this final product might look like. They are writing to sell as much as anything else. And in attempting to create a picture for the potential buyer, or showrunner, or boss, one must write in a ton of looks, facial expressions, reactions, parentheticals, emotions - all of which, in reading a script, help show the reader what the final product might look like, none of which help the actor deliver a performance.

See, as a writer, I don't care if the actor smiles where I say smile, or gives a dirty look where I say "gives a dirty look." In writing a screenplay, I use those as devices to make beats, to help map the page. I would, in the end, much rather see an actor honestly play the scene, using all of those markers as a roadmap. The same way a playwright writes "(beat)," I might write "Del looks out at the sea for a moment, wondering if he'll ever find his way back home." Essentially, silent pause, but I want the reader, the potential producer, what have you, to be inside the character at that moment because I don't have the benefit of having an actor performing at that moment.

As an actor, you must learn to read between these lines - you must find the map. And the more honest of a performance you can give, even if you don't drop your keys when told, or heave a sigh of regret, you're gonna be closer to getting the job.

At least... that's how I write.